Best of the worst - part 1 (customer service)

"I don't make the stereotypes, I just see them" - Russel Peters (in "Outsourced")

It is my privilege to encounter and expose the worst in the world I see around me. These set of posts will try to portray details of the "worseness" in each of the occurences, and hopefully justify. Sadly, this is the best I can do (other than sharing my frustration through the other most powerful means - "word of mouth"). As I have been living in Pune since last few years, many of the incidents will relate to the city, but I am certain of similar examples elsewhere.

First in the series is about customer service...
I have started believing in my own theory of "Indians do not understand service". I have seen this happen so many times, quite unbelievable. We fail to understand the meaning of service. We do not acknowledge the fact that customer is the king. We simply refuse to align ourselves with a growing pattern and I fail to understand the reason. Perhaps BPO and IT are the only saving faces (may be a part of Tourism industry as well). Otherwise, it is a hell out there. I have decided to voice my concern over this attitude here hoping that there are other voices in resonance.

If you are from Pune and reading this post, still wondering what it is all about...

1. Give your Bajaj two-wheeler at Sai Services (Bajaj), Kothrud branch. These are 100% unprofessional bunch of people who will ensure that you have the worst time of your life. Hell is right there, trust me! The guys will keep the vehicle in their dirty godown for a day and will return it next day with an inch thick dust spread all over! You can shout at the top of your voice to vent out your angst only to be laughed at by the engineers there!


2. Ask for details on any two-wheeler at Pratibha Motors (Hero Honda), Chinchwad-Wakad road. You will curse that day and time of your life when you entered the showroom. They don't care even if you have a load of cash and want to buy from them! They simply do not know who/what is a customer. Don't be surprised if you are asked to pick up a pamplet of the vehicle of your interest before even starting a discussion.


3. Ask for any pizza at Dominos, Kothrud (near Karve statue) and try to get it within 1 hour (no, I am not talking about home delivery). It will take them at least 90 minutes to make a pizza and they are not even ashamed about it!


4. Order something from India Today Book Club and you will win the Nobel prize if you get the consignment within 1 year (yes, 1 year). If there was an award of "really really worst customer service ever on this planet", it would simply be bagged by these guys, really! They absolutely don't bother to at least refund the money if they cannot deliver what they advertise. I am sure they are bunch of i****s, who simply enjoy the torment a customer undergoes by the unfortunate link up.


5. Try getting Tata Indicom Broadband connection at Pimple Saudagar. They will first take 6 to 7 days to realize that you have been calling their customer care for a new connection. Then, it takes 7 more days (after you submit your application) for them to realize that there is no feasibility in your area. It will take at least 3 to 6 months for you to get your cheque back (provided that you have spent at least Rs. 300 worth of talktime on your phone to reach them).


6. You will never buy a Motorola mobile phone, if you happen to just pass by Redington India Pvt. Ltd. at Shivajinagar. The place consists of people... err I mean robots, who are made from the worst possible processors! Minimum downtime for any service is 3 to 6 months, because after every 100 calls and 4 visits, you will be asked to give some or the other document with photo ID and to revisit after 15 days. Well, I could have created a new mobile phone myself by then!

These are just the tiplets of the icebergs - there are millions of such service-sense-less braindeads in this country who continue to rule us, just because we choose to take their crap without spelling a word out. Well, I choose not to keep quiet anymore... Something has to be done!